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Black Mother
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Mars Lord
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11th November 2016
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I am a black mother.
You might not find that relevant. It might resonate loudly with you. I look around the world that we currently stand in and think that it just got harder to be the mother of black children. I’m not going to cry myself to sleep. I’m going to do what I’ve always done, what black women have always done. I’m going to hold my head up and go to work.
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I am a black doula.
I recently attended a birth conference. When I looked around, I was the only black woman there. This didn’t surprise me too much as I’m quite used to seeing lack of diversity within the birth world, and yet… we black mothers have babies too. When I look at the covers of birth books, it is rare to see a BAME face, unless it is depicted as an illustration rather than photograph. I’m encouraged to see more BAME birthkeepers appearing.
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“To tell people they are all the same is to deny them their journey.”
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Now, to be clear, I’m talking about here in the UK. It would be lovely to hear from birth workers across the globe about how it works within the countries that they live. I think that this is an exciting time for the birth world. More and more women are wanting to reach into their cultures and family traditions when it comes to birth support.
Oftentimes a woman wants someone familiar to share their journey through birth and into parenting. I believe that each woman should be able to look within her own community, culture and beyond to find that someone.
So that’s what I want. What do you want? Do you want to be able to reach into your community as a birthkeeper? Are you ready for the privilege of being a woman’s doula? To be part of one of the most intimate moments of her life? Abuela Doulas is here for that very reason and we love women from all cultures. Contact us here and come join us, as we welcome new life into our world and let’s change it, one birth at a time.
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Loving this xxx
I don’t quite understand what a doula does and how they help support the birthing process. Could someone clarify please?
Many thanks.
Hi Yves
Thank you so much for reading and for your question.
A doula is someone who gives women and their families, continuous support during her pregnancy, during the birth of her child(ren) and afterwards. This is within the mother’s home and wherever she chooses to birth.
What does a doula do?
A doula gives emotional and physical support. She does not give medical advice, nor does she replace the midwife or the doctor. She will, usually, have completed a doula preparation course. This does not mean that her learning is complete. She will continue to increase, improve and advance her knowledge so that she can be the best that she can be when supporting new families.
A birth doula will meet with the mother and partner at least twice before the birth. This is where she’ll get to know you, your hopes and fears for this birth, possibly debrief any previous births and help you look forward to this one.
She’ll provide continuous emotional support throughout the labour, encouraging you with positioning and relaxation. She will also encourage your partner in their role. She is not there to replace, but to support and help your partner to hold the space. She recognises how important it is for the partner to be as involved or not, as they wish. This is something that you will all talk about together in the antenatal sessions.
Once the baby is born and has been fed, she will leave you when you feel safe for her to go.
She will return, in those early postnatal days, to visit, talk through the birth and marvel at your baby(ies).
A postnatal doula will also provide emotional and physical support. She will support the whole family, doing different tasks to help with the smooth transition into parenthood. This may be helping around the house, or being with the baby so that Mum can sleep, take a shower, relax. It may be sitting with mum as she feeds her baby(ies). She will encourage and help the family to learn and listen to their instinctual, parental voices. She is there should you wish to debrief your birthing experience.
Who should hire a doula?
Any woman that wants one. It is not specific to any one type of family. She may have a partner, or not. She may be any age. Doulas are there to support each family as appropriate. When you think about the long term emotional and physical effects of birth on the mother, her partner and baby(ies), I hope that you see how much of a valuable asset a doula could be.
I hope that you find that helpful. Do feel free to come back to me if you have more questions, either here or via the contact form.
Mars x
Wow. I love this. I am very interested in becoming a Doula and feel that I have been guided to your page. I have requested further information on your up and coming course so look forward to hearing from you. NC
Hi Nichola
Thanks for your lovely words and comment. An email will be winging its way towards you shortly.
Mars x
Sounds like beautiful work you are doing to help young families to thrieve.
I also like the way you phrase your experiences. All the best for you from Germany.
Thank you for your kind words Jutta. Much appreciated.
Mars x
Hi my dear… I have been looking for a back doula. Are you based in Nottingham?
I’m not, but I do have doulas that cover Nottingham. Please email me abueladoulaspa@gmail.com with your estimated due date, where you are planning to give birth and the area you live in. I’ll be able to pass your details on.