You’d be surprised how many people say, “I wish someone had just listened to me.”

Not done something.
Not fixed it.
Just listened.

And when it comes to maternity care, listening isn’t a luxury, it’s a lifeline.

I remember a woman once told me how, during her labour, she kept saying that something didn’t feel right. Over and over again. She wasn’t in distress exactly, just a quiet insistence, a deep instinct.

She was dismissed.
Told she was anxious.
Told to trust the process.

Hours later, when everything unravelled, that same “instinct” she’d been trying to voice was written in the notes as “early signs.”

Imagine what could’ve changed if someone had just heard her the first time.

Listening is safety.

When someone tells you they feel off, or that the baby’s movements have changed, or that something inside them just doesn’t sit right, you’d better believe that deserves attention.

Because here’s the truth: no one knows their body like they do.

And yet, how many times are people, especially Black and brown people, talked over, brushed off, or made to feel like they’re exaggerating?

We’ve got a problem in the system, and it’s not just about protocol or policy.
It’s about how deeply we undervalue listening.

At Abuela Doulas, we teach doulas that listening is not a passive act.

It’s not just nodding while someone talks.
It’s active, attentive, intentional.
It’s about tuning in to what’s said, what’s unsaid, and how it’s said.

It’s about hearing someone when they say, “I don’t feel safe.”
And not brushing it aside. Not looking for a quick fix. But holding that moment with the seriousness it deserves.

Because that moment? It could save a life.

Listening catches red flags.
Listening validates instincts.
Listening helps people heal.

And let’s not forget, birth isn’t just physical. It’s emotional, psychological, even spiritual.

Which means the aftershocks of not being heard? They linger.

That’s why we also teach our doulas how to debrief.
How to sit with someone’s story after the birth.
How to hold space for grief, rage, joy, confusion, all of it, without rushing to silver linings.

Because for some, being heard after the fact is what makes sense of it all.
What helps them move forward.
What stops the trauma from taking root.

You see, when you centre listening in your practice, everything changes.

You notice more.
You rush less.
You become a safer person to be around.

And in maternity care, safety isn’t just about clean tools and emergency protocols.
It’s about relationship. Trust. Presence.
It’s about being the one who hears someone the first time, not the tenth.

That’s what we teach at Abuela Doulas.
Listening as a core skill.
Listening as an act of care.
Listening as a tool of justice.

Because when we listen well, we protect.
When we listen well, we empower.
And sometimes, yes, when we listen well, we save lives.

If you’re a birthworker, or becoming one, and you’re ready to centre true listening in your work, we’re here.

Our training isn’t about ticking boxes. It’s about transformation.
For the people you support… and for you, too.

Come and learn how to listen like it matters.
Because it does.

Want to train with us?
The Abuela Doulas Programme is open for new applicants. Take your time. Read, reflect, and if it speaks to you, reach out.

Find out more about the training

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